At every moment of my days here I see myself turning more golden brown. My musculature is becoming ever more well-defined with all this swimming, running and eating light foods like Hawaiian fish and sushi. I love to masturbate in front of the mirrors and admire myself while doing it. I set aside time just to enjoy myself sexually. Take yesterday: I stripped slowly and appreciated how lean and strong I look from every view. Then I carefully covered myself with Hawaiian tanning oil and watched myself rubbing it into my forearms, my strong upper arms and shoulders, my calves, lean thighs and finally, my chest and torso. I have a large chest with solid pecs and lats. My profile drops across the lower ribs to a flat abdomen that is reasonably ripped to the waist, where I can appreciate my hip bones and thigh structures.Did I say that as a swimmer I'm shaved down, leaving just a little short hair above my penis? When I oiled myself as I did yesterday I glowed in the reflected sunlight. If she would let it......9/I spent the morning, as always, in that forest spot, staring up at thegorgeous light. It was so calming and peaceful as I prepared myselfmentally for what was to come.I hadn't been out for so long, and I had deliberately set up thissituation --- visiting Stephanie at his office --- to challenge myself.To get back out in the world. Stephanie was my stepping stone on as Ireturned from exile.But the city.......Why hadn't I set a lunch date closer, in a quietersuburb? Why had I chosen the loud-10/-city?A horn blared as I crossed the road to the shopping center, startlingme. On the sidewalk, pedestrians hustled by, pushing and nudging me outof the way as I froze. Various people eased me to the side, passing melike a ball from one to another as I sensed my breathing kick up a gear.Short, sharp breaths. My chest tightening. In front of a store window, Istarted to pant. Looked around. Where was I? Why had I come all the wayout here when I was safe in my home? He.
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